By George

Tears are not an option. Cry your eyes out! ?IT WILL NOT HELP!? YAH YAH YAH! Did you get a birthday card from George Bush?

?I DID?. Were you the one who sent George my previous columns?

Certainly left him with the impression I was the one person he could give a loving message to!

On a different note.

It seems my last message about smoking, or not, never reached your ears. My apologies for not letting you know about your addiction. We all should be offered the wisdom of knowledge we have never known we had. If that is too complex for you to get your head around please see the first paragraph. You know, the one you first read in this column.

To start with, just letting me know you have promised yourself you have tried to quit, just wont wash! I tried to stop doing a lot of things many times and found I just couldn?t. You know, like, ?I would like to stop singing in the bathtub.? Or, ?I should like to stop whistling at girls.? Or, ?I have promised I would not say anything nasty about politicians.? This list is about as promising as keeping New Year Resolutions!? You just know you wont, so why make the resolutions in the first place!

Anyway, I do know some people who do not smoke, and they are OTHERWISE very fine people. Even some of my other friends who do smoke and they too are OTHERWISE very fine people. Remember the last time you were in church you noticed an otherwise dusty tome lying on a shelf, probably a bible? That book is filled with good advice, not often studied by anyone who has time to get past the first few passages in genesis.

There is a reminder in one of the chapters to JUDGE NOT YET YOU BE JUDGED. Good advice for avid readers. Never was much good at the art of reading and have often been accused of failing to heed good advice from one who loves reading!

A fine lady I remember, had a child suffering from asthma. She told me that if she even thought her child?s problem was caused by her smoking she would stop! Never did and her daughter still has asthma, ?and an inhaler?. Failure to connect the dots? At least my kids and our friends only leave butts on the sidewalk instead of smoking in the house. However, ?And I understand the addiction problem?, but they fail to stop breathing out the residual smoke still in their lungs when they come in?. Only an observation. The surgeon general?s observation on the package does not appear to have any effect either, just as the complaint from many ladies as to the location of the toilet seat to men has the same salutary result. Anyway, to all ladies who are trying hard to act like men in all their endeavours, just remember it is you who wished an equal right to die too! At this time your life expectancy is still more than a man?s, but this gap is closing rapidly!

On this note I rest my case. If any of you missed me for a couple of weeks, thank you for letting me know you did. No promises, see above, but, the lord willing, (and Loraine too} I shall, like MacArthur, return.