Looking in the mirror this morning (January 6, 2005) I recognized the brainless nincompoop who was looking back at me. And, it was not that other George!
I was given a GPS (you know the instrument which instantly tells you where you are) by my son. I never used it because the print on the instructions was too small and I never had the guts to tell him he would have to show me how it worked. I now have lost it.
I was told I needed a cell phone and it now sits idly by because there is no on or off switch, and even if I knew how to use it (my eleven year old grandchild showed me how) it has never been ?on? long enough for anyone to phone me on it!
I was given a great present of a digital little camera (also with no ?on or off? switch and ?by golly? 4 pixels) so, even though it can take pictures I do not know how to put them in the computer even though I have been given clear instructions as to how this works so it too sits idly by waiting for a child to explain it to me!
I was given 101 simple games to make life more interesting and even though I have put two of the games in the computer, I score so badly that my five year old grandchild laughs because she can do much better.
This list can go on endlessly. Consider that when I graduated in mechanical engineering in 1950 I had learned to use a slide rule to do all my engineering problems but had never used a calculator and was terrified of the possibility of blowing the thing up if I touched a key! See paragraph one for an explanation!
So, for those familiar with my old friend, the dictionary, I have had a hiatus (not the one dealing with my esophagus) but the other one meaning to take a break. This could be just a SAD affair (the seasonal affective disorder) or maybe just a time to reflect. My kids, knowing my thinking about the other George, gave me books they found in Canadian book stores which give an in depth analysis of his shortcomings, and I also get literature in my E Mail from Michael Moore (the Fahrenheit 9/11 guy) to reassure me that not all Americans think highly of their present president. Therefore, I will have nothing more to report on that gentleman.
However, maybe you need to bring yourselves up to date on ?Telemarketers?. The ever increasing thrust to usurp your time with your families is becoming more than rude and inconsiderate when they pick the evening meal to fill you with another of their endless requests to deprive you of your bank accounts balances. Be rude, and hang up on them! I recently weakened and have paid the penalty of nearly ruining our marriage because she told me to hang up, and I didn?t and then I did it again! See paragraph one for an explanation! Enjoy the New Year. We all must realize we indeed live in Shangri la!