By George

I have come to the conclusion that the dictionary is a useful tool and should be used effectively by those of us who need to explain our frustration with all the people who have caused us such pain.

I have a computer and have never mastered this newspeak which flows effortlessly from its simple brain. ISP, USB, and so on and so on and so on goes through its brain and I, after trying to master the language I was born with and having some success driving cars and aeroplanes using the language thrust on me because learning the intricacies of making their machines behave was a reasonable task, have given up on computer jargon. If I were a much younger person, maybe I would try harder but when I am denied entry into its bowels because I neglected an asterisk, or am told I cannot use a colon when it wants me to use an oblique, I tend to give up.

Most of you will understand an acronym and all of you understand abbreviations. Certainly when an inventive mind creates a new use for an instrument for locating positions and uses radio signals and then calls this new idea radar and then finds out he has created an acronym, I can accept this. When someone else wants to use SOS as a means of asking for help I am happy to use its abbreviation. But, the world is moving too fast for me now, and I am extremely reluctant to keep on finding new and obtuse expressions for everything someone has decided to put in the lexicon.

Consider this one. WMD is now all the rage for all comedians. Did you watch the Oscars? This abbreviation was part of the ceremony so I tried to find it in my dictionary. I found sixty four abbreviations starting with W but this one was not there. I like the thought that, if it isn?t in the dictionary maybe it does not exist! Someone has since told me it means Weapons of Mass Destruction and it goes with Terrorism. Think of what you could do with WMD! Weird Mental Demons, or, Wicked Minded Devils, or, Wasted Moron Dumbbells, or, (fill in the blanks yourself). Could be the start of a new parlour game! Actually, when the anti terrorists? begin looking for them in some country which might have them, why do they not go home and find them in their own backyard? After all, they made most of them there! I know, I said I would start listening to my wife and be a better person? Sorry about that.