Constant Chatter: Finding Balance as a mom

Jade Steckly


I often get asked how I “do it all”, as if I have it all together. I’ve been wondering why people think that I do…and then it hit me. I put my best foot forward online.

Oh sure, I post the occasional picture of my laundry pile or a cluttered counter, but for the most part I post statuses about funny things my kids say, or pictures of them smiling and being goofy…like they do that all day long. I really enjoy looking at my friends’ posts about those things too!

They say the first step is admitting it, and it’s probably glaringly obvious to everyone around me already, but here goes….I like to be busy. I know I say that my dream day would include having the whole spotless house to myself for a whole day so I could nap, eat and watch TV all day long. I would like it I’m sure, but I have way too short of an attention span to enjoy being bored for very long. I’m sure most of my fellow moms can relate!

On any given day, my list of to-dos includes, but is not limited to:

  • Feeding my family
  • Doing the dishes
  • Tidying the house
  • Doing laundry
  • Sewing for LLB
  • Paying bills or taking care of assorted paperwork
  • Filling out forms for various kid related activities
  • Buying groceries (that one isn’t daily, but it feels like it!)
  • Tending to my garden
  • Spending quality time with the girls
  • Spending quality time with my husband
  • Sleep (like, who really needs it anyways, amiright?)

So how do I do it all? The answer isn’t profound. It’s pretty average actually. I’M pretty average. Just an average mom who likes to stay busy and has trouble knowing when to say no. Something always gets missed. Some days it’s a big thing, like I’ll leave the huge laundry pile on the couch and the dishes in the sink overnight so I can sew. Some days I get halfway to town and realize I hadn’t even looked in the mirror that morning, let alone put on any makeup.

More than a few times I’ve gotten to town and realized that one of the kids got in the vehicle with no shoes, or a sweater, or without their hair brushed.

Sometimes my husband starts to feel a bit neglected.

Sometimes my kids do too….I can tell because they start to get super cranky and irrational. I’ve learned to take that as my cue to leave the rest of the stuff and spend time with them instead.

Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by everything in not getting done that I freeze. When that happens I like to call Daniel. He usually can’t come home to help me, but he is one of the calmest people I know and helps clear the clutter from my mind so I can see the big picture. “It is what it is” is his motto, and I’m so blessed to have him to help balance me.

I always feel so under qualified to write “how-to” articles or giving advice. I have my little tricks for getting things done, but none of it is profound.

And so, this is more of an encouragement post. An “I can sympathize with you, busy mom, because I’m right there too” post.

I’m right here, in the midst of it all. In a whirlwind of dirty diapers, dirty dishes, muddy kids and sibling rivalry, I somehow muddle through each day. On the best of days I remind myself to take some deep breaths, and focus on one thing at a time. On the worst of days I lay on my living room floor and call my husband to bring pizza and a hug. It doesn’t all get done every day, no siree!

You know those posts I was talking about at the beginning though? The happy kids or funny quotes…they are not the WHOLE picture, but they are definitely there. As much as I like to be busy, I like happiness. I enjoy nothing more than a goofy moment with my husband or kids. I think it’s inevitable that we will all feel overwhelmed, which makes it that much more important that we allow ourselves the grace to laugh and enjoy the craziness when we can :)

So here’s a hug, fellow moms…and an encouragement to allow yourself a bit of grace today. It is what it is :)

Jade Steckly is a former Tumbler Ridge resident now living in that no-man’s land between here and Dawson Creek. You can read her blog at