Constant Chatter: Passport to Sears

Jade Steckly

(l-r) Myka, Addison, Tegan, and Danica.
This is a story about the adventures of one woman going to Grande Prairie alone with four small girls. It happened in December 2011, but I think it’s worth repeating, mostly so other moms can empathize with me! Ah, memories.
It started at Costco. I went to get Danica’s passport photo, and they informed me that they don’t do baby passport photos and I had to go to Sears. It was -38 C outside and I had four girls. Extra stops are like torture in that situation! So…off we went to Sears. I parked close to the door, bundled everyone up, and ran inside as fast as we could. I was just going to the photo centre, so I didn’t bother grabbing a cart…I couldn’t see any anyways. At the photo centre, the lady informed me that she could do the photo, but not until two, because she had an appointment right away. It was one.
As I walked away holding Danica, with three girls trailing behind me, I weighed my options; walk around Sears for an hour to avoid the cold or….Nope, that was the only option. But I had to find a cart or my arms would die.
Then, THUMP. I grimaced in the millisecond that followed, knowing what was coming as I turned around.
Myka. Huge scream, blood spraying from nose, her hands all over her face trying to wipe it, but instead smearing it everywhere! *Sigh*
Then came the fun part. I didn’t have a cart yet, so I set Danica down, away from the blood spatters on the floor, and picked up Myka with one hand while pinching her nose with the other. I searched for the bathrooms. They were on the other side of the lingerie section..not too far away thankfully! I instructed Addison to help Danica walk with us, and we began the longest 70 foot walk of my life. I must have looked like such a dork…trying to calm Myka down while gently coaching Addison and Danica along…blood pretty much everywhere at this point.
The best part? Sears was DEAD, so absolutely no one saw us. Although because of that, no one offered to help either! Finally, we reached the bathroom. I set Myka on the counter and used paper towels to pinch her nose. Addison put Danica down on the floor (Ick!), and went in to use a stall. All of the sudden Tegan, who had been so quiet up until this point, asked a question. “Mom, are those baby toilets?” I spun around. For. The. Love. “Uh, no. They are urinals. Addison! Come get Danica, we have to go to the women’s bathroom!”
(Side note: I didn’t notice this until I got to the women’s bathroom, but the counter in there was full of water puddles. The men’s had been completely dry. Which means either…men are way cleaner then women, or men don’t wash their hands nearly as often as women. I’ll let you choose whichever one you think it is!)
Twenty minutes later, the bloody nose was stopped, cleaned up, diapers were changed, and kids had had their potty breaks. And I only had half an hour more to kill! Success!
Remarkably, not one staff member in Sears had noticed any of this.