Hello everyone and welcome back to the Blotter. Well, as usual it?s 2:00 in the morning and for the life of me I just can?t think of a witty and informative introduction for the Blotter_ [guess 1?ll just have to start off with a few public service announcements. If you do not like going to jail, then do not start pushing and shoving people when you are literally standing about a foot away from not one, but two constables. It?s as simple as that. Another good strategy for not spending the night in our facilities is to refrain from accosting us during the course of our duties to enthusiastically in form us that we may be doing our job incorrectly, or that we in fact should not be enforcing laws that you disagree with. So unless you are a judge, the Queen, or The Charter of Rights and Freedoms incarnate, then please hold your questions until the end of the demonstration.
In other news, during Grizfest a Telus LG phone with a navy carrying case was found. If it?s yours, come pick it up. We have also located a very nice black ?Outdoor Gear? backpack along with a calculator and some other personal items. If you or possibly your child own these things, please stop by the detachment.
On the 17?h of this month, three furniture moving carts were stolen from a business on main street. They were apparently stolen right from the back of the store, probably during business hours. Why someone would risk break and enter, as well as theft charges for just three furniture moving carts is beyond me, but if you have any information regarding this give us a call. We would love to talk to you.
Alright, it?s now 4:45 in the morning and l can feel my sanity evaporating like the gas in our new Suburban. I?m just going to finish up some paper on our prisoner in cells at the moment and then I?m done for the night. With business picking up in town, it looks like our cellblock is becoming a popular ?overnight escape? for people that are passing through. Our establishment has a sterling reputation, you get a free shuttle ride to our location, and then you?re escorted to your roorn for the night by some very professional people in uniform. We take care of all the meals, the phone calls, and any other incidental issues that might need attention, all free of charge. There?s no dress code, and the other guests are interesting people, usually with a good story to tell. Best of all, drop ins are welcome! No reservation is required. The only downside is that you might get fired from your job for not being able to show up for work the next morning, you?ll get a criminal record, and if you pulled anything too goofy we?ll probably write about you in the Blotter.
Until next week,
Cst. David THORNE