Things I Never Expected

Jade Steckley


If I should have learned one thing by now, it’s that children are unpredictable. There are just a few things that have recently made me go “hmmmm…I didn’t really see that one coming.”

Keeping the pillowcases on the pillows: Or any of the bedding on the beds for that matter! Forts, I can understand, so blankets being dragged off the bed never really bothers me, but when I pictured tidying up with my kids in the evenings, putting the pillowcases back on all of the pillows in the house never really crossed my mind.

I guess I was just being too unimaginative though, because apparently pillow cases are great fun. You can carry loads of toys in them to dump on the living room floor, you can drag your kitty around for rides that he absolutely adores, or you can even put it over your head and be totally proud of the fact that you can walk around your house without seeing anything! (That almost never ends well).

To sum up, pillowcases are useless on pillows. They are practical objects that will make you wonder why you even bother to buy any actual toys in the first place.

Containers of water: why is my house ALWAYS wet? As if it’s not enough for the three year old to climb up on the counter by herself to get a glass of water. No, she needs four or five just to make sure she’s got enough.

Some of them she leaves on the counter, some she (and by “she” I mean either of the preschoolers in our home) leaves in the middle of the floor, while others make it into the bedroom and are used to fill up any toy possible that can be used as a container. I am almost always the one to find the cups left in the middle of the floor, and I am almost always carrying something or in a rush, so instead of seeing it and picking it up, I kick it and spray water all over.

If there is not an actual cup of water on the floor, there is just puddles of wet. Mystery puddles, I like to call them. Part of the mystery is how I always find one within 45 seconds of putting on fresh socks.

(Side note: incidents like that are the main reason that I have switched from wearing socks in the house to wearing flip flops.)

Socks: Any mother will tell you how hard it is to keep kids’ socks matched up (if you don’t have trouble with this, we can’t be friends anymore), but I never realized all the weird places I would FIND socks! Does this happen to anyone else? I find them in the couch cushions, under the couch, anywhere toys are kept, in the boot room, in the kitchen cabinets and pantry, and outside lying around the yard.

But hey, the bright side is that then I have piles of socks to match together and fill my girls’ drawers with, right? Wrong. Basketfuls of socks (okay, one basketful) lying in my laundry room, and not one stinkin’ pair in the bunch. This goes on all winter, during the socks’ hibernation season.

And by some strange miracle, throughout the summer I manage to match most of them up and begin each fall with full drawers of socks. It’s the best two weeks of the year.

Maybe one day I’ll figure out this kid thing. Then again, maybe I won’t, but every day I’m learning something new, and that’s always fun, right?