(Up to August 18, 2007)
Hello neighbor and welcome back to the Blotter and what a week its been here in the Ridge. I have come to the conclusion that you never really know anyone until you have been through thick and thin together. Weve heard this many times from soldiers who have returned from the theater of war. When you trust your very life to another, little wonder that a bond forms that lasts a lifetime.
Well, it happened here just yesterday. I was sitting in my office lost in pure and wholesome thoughts when out in the main office it started. There arose such a clatter, I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. I saw one of the gals screaming one of those ?Im-going-to-die-a-horrible-and-painful-death-come-save-me-quick? type of screams. ?Chester? our local little furry mouse had just made a break for it. He scurried across the floor heading for safety when he ran over a couple of female toes that had been parked in some open-toed sandals.
I?ve noticed something funny; that when one gal begins to scream at a mouse, its fairly contagious. So there I stood: watching Chester flee, watching the gals doing a tabletop dance, and two officers at the ready equipped with a night stick, some pepper spray, handcuffs and a pea shooter, able to handle most any situation. I said to Sir Lunch-A-Lot, ?Lets roll.? Like a finely coordinated ballet, we bowed to each other, curtsied and then cornered the mouse. At this point I said to the mouse, ?Prepare to meet your maker.? I pulled out my night stick and prepared to deliver the mother of all blows. The mouse, sensing my resolve and deadly accurate swing, made a break for it a second time. Except this time he ran across Sir Lunch-A-Lots foot (or more accurately, a big heavy leather policeman boot). Sir Lunch-A-Lot suddenly was frozen with fear. I couldn?t believe that such a big guy could squeak like a mouse. At 6?6″ and almost a million pounds, Sir-Lunch-A-Lot transformed into Tiny Tim singing and dancing to the tune Tiptoe through The Tulips. Well, Chester escaped, but Tiny Tim and I now have that ?Band of Brothers? type of bond.
OK, OK, lets get to work and see what?s been shaking in this fair hamlet. So far this year, the detachment has responded to 1218 calls for service. 36 Impaired drivers have been charged and taken off of the road. 660 traffic tickets have been issued for various infractions on the highways and byways near Tumbler. Seatbelt usage has gone up from 82% to 95%. Liquor charges are up as are the number of prisoners held in police custody.
The overtime budget is blown as is the budget for fuel and vehicle repairs. But there is good news, with the amount of hair I?ve lost this year, we still have lots of budget left for shampoo.
And now, the real snooze…..
The police were called to a residence in response to an intoxicated male who was there against some ?release? conditions. The male was previously charged with uttering threats and assault. The male was again arrested and placed in custody. An hour or so after the male was in custody, the owner of the residence went to clean up the home. The owner could smell gas and called the local gas company. Tests showed that the basement was filled with gas and had an 80% concentration. The upper level of the house was tested and it had a 40% concentration. The gas was shut off and a further investigation was conducted. The main gas line into the furnace had just been damaged, causing the house to fill. It was caught before it could be ignited by a spark from an electrical appliance or any other source. Had the house blown up, it would have leveled houses on either side of it and across the street. The male is now undergoing a forensic psychological exam for the next 30 days. This exam is taking place at the Prince George Regional Correctional Centre.
We have had several motor vehicle accidents reported this past week. Two of the accidents involved ?road conditions.? One accident resulted from a frosty bridge deck. You read it right, FROST. The deck was very slippery and the driver lost control of the vehicle and it subsequently rolled. All you guys & gals heading to work in the morning (or coming home from night shift) be careful. Be careful of bridge decks, corners, the crest of hills and any shady areas.
Last weekend I worked at the Dawson Creek Rodeo. I spent the entire evening on the grounds doing a little bit of this and that. I left the grounds at 2:30 am and returned to the office to hand in some paperwork. The police car was parked at the front gates and had been there for 8 hours or so. Guess what was missing from the car when I returned? The rear license plate. Well, hardie har har, aint that just the funniest thing? I feel so violated.
Well folks, due to national security issues I really cant tell you much else (besides, Im out of space.) (I said out of space, not out in space.) Well talk again next week the Good Lord willing.
Keep it between the ditches.
Cpl. Kurt Peats