(Up to September 15, 2007)

Hello neighbor and welcome back to the Blotter, and what a week its been here in the Ridge. For the most part, I like autumn. The colors, no mosquitos, harvest and the fact that the world gets back into a routine. What I dislike is that with routine comes meetings. Ive recently attended a million meetings and Im not sure what was accomplished. So, I called a detachment meeting to discuss this very issue.

RCMP meetings are a bit different from that of the general public. When you walk in the door, there is a big sign that says, no guns, no blades, no pepper spray, no clubs and no Tasers. That always strikes me as funny, how else are you supposed to get your point across? Anyway, at the beginning of the meeting, we all stand in a circle, hold hands, and sing a song:

Gloom, despair and agony on me;

Deep dark depression, excessive misery;

If it werent for bad luck,

Id have no luck at all;

Gloom, despair and agony on me.

Id like to thank Cousin Clem, Grandpa Jones, Buck Owens and the rest of the cast of Hee Haw for this little ditty. After the song we have the secret handshake, say the Possum Lodge Oath (thanks Red Green) and then take our seats. The discussions, on occasion, get heated and usually generate more warmth than light. When the meeting is over, we walk past a large magnet and have our memories erased. And that folks, is why it takes such a long time to get things done in government. Hello neighbor and welcome back to the Blotter….oops.

OK, OK lets get to work and see what has been shaking in this fair hamlet.

Most of our calls this past week have dealt with drugs, alcohol, love gone wrong, other peoples kids, or any variation thereof. Oh yeah, and accidents. Here goes….

Drinking in parking lots is becoming a lot more prevalent. Several calls have been received from managers at apartment complexes and from managers at local motels and hotels. It seems that when crews get home from work, there are a lot of informal tailgate meetings. Im sure the crews are talking about safety issues at work. Just a reminder, there are only three places where it is lawful to consume alcohol. 1) IN your residence. Not near, not close, not within eyesight, but IN your residence. 2) IN a licensed establishment. (As above). 3) Or in an area where a special occasion permit has been issued. Everywhere else is a no, no and you could get a ticket. There.

Weve had four or five calls of tenants drinking, getting loud and disturbing the rest of the building. Some tenants were pushing each other up and down the halls in shopping carts and having a gay old time. Other renters like to have large parties in their backyard and then the fights begin and the party spills out into the street. Tedious and frustrating for the neighbors, more so for the police. Having said that, several people were arrested during these occasions, some for breaching their probation conditions, some for fighting and some for being drunk. Charges are in the works.

The police attended a domestic dispute where a female beat up her common-law husband. She was arrested and charged with assault. She was subsequently released and ordered not to go back to the residence. As a result, she asked an officer to go and get her purse from the house. When the officer returned back to the detachment, he noted that the purse contained many grams of marihuana. She is now facing additional charges of possessing a controlled substance.

You know those handy dandy remote starters for vehicles? Handy for some, not so dandy for others. A guy walked out of his house and by mistake pressed the button to start his truck. The truck was a standard and was in gear. The truck did start, drove itself across the street and into the neighbors house. Not too much damage, but a lot of material for the local coffee shop.

A Stihl chainsaw worth $700 was stolen out of the back of a pickup. It was in a carrying case and the case had the name ?Tyler? written on the side. If you know where it is, wed like to know where it is, too.

Just this last week, there has been two bridge decks hit by vehicles. One bridge was on the Wolverine Forest Service Road, and the other bridge was the Flatbed Creek bridge on Highway 29, heading out to Quintette mine site. When people hit the bridge deck and begin to spin out of control, they scream the ?F? word – Frost! (Shame on you for thinking something else.) Not only do people crash, but when the highway contractors try and move the cement blocks back into place, they have to dodge oncoming vehicles that are driving too fast and begin to lose control. At this point, there is a lot of people saying the ?F? word. (Again, shame on you.)

A male reported that he had been assaulted by unknown subjects at an unknown location and was being chased by them right now. The police located the male, by himself, with no one around. The male had been consuming ?shrooms? and was having a psychotic episode. ?Shrooms? are magic mushrooms or officially known as Psilocybin. This is a psychoactive drug that causes all sorts of interruptions of normal brain function, with paranoia being one of the main side effects. The rock bands of the 80?s said it best, ?Paranoia will destroy ya.?

Thats about it for now. Well talk again next week the Good Lord willing.

Keep it between the ditches.

Cpl. Kurt Peats