Hello neighbor and welcome back to the Blotter, and what a week its been here in the Ridge. Canada is multi-cultural, without a doubt. In fact, most of you have learned a second language and have not even realized it. In fact, I received this message the other day, and I couldnt believe that I could actually read AND understand it. By the time you read through this you will understand ?TENJOOBERRYMUDS.? Practice by reading the following conversation. If it doesnt make sense, read it out loud.
The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service:
Room Service (RS): ?Morrin. Roon sirbees.?
Guest (G): ?Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.?
RS: ? Rye. Roon sirbees…morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen????
G: ?Uh….. Yes, I?d like to order bacon and eggs.?
RS: ?Ow July den??
RS: ?Ow July den?!?… pryed, boyud, poochd??
G: ?Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry… scrambled, please.?
RS: ?Ow July dee baykem? Crease??
G: ?Crisp will be fine.?
RS: ?Hokay. An Sahn toes??
RS: ?An toes. July Sahn toes??
G: ?I… don?t think so.?
RS: ?No? Judo wan sahn toes????
G: ?I feel really bad about this, but I don?t know what ?judo wan
RS: ?Toes! Toes!.Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppinwe bodder??
G: ?Oh, English muffin!!! I?ve got it! You were saying ?toast?…
Fine…Yes, an English muffin will be fine.?
RS: ?We bodder??
G: ?No, just put the bodder on the side.?
G: ?I mean butter… just put the butter on the side.?
G: ?Excuse me??
G: ?Yes. Coffee, please… and that?s everything.?
RS: ?One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin,
webodder on sigh and copy… rye???
G: ?Whatever you say.?
G: ?You?re welcome.
See, I knew you could do it! OK, OK, lets get to work and see what has been shaking in this fair hamlet.
Two youths were noted walking towards the golf course carrying a rifle. Patrols were made however the youths were not located. Further investigation revealed that the youths were carrying a pellet gun and were heading into the bush to shoot some birds. Twenty five years ago, this would have been no big deal. How things have changed…
An officer on his way back to the detachment from getting the mail, walked by a young man smoking pot downtown. The male was arrested and two grams of ?Bud? were located in his pocket. The male has been charged with possession of a controlled substance.
On Highway 29, a loaded Kenworth hauling some coal swerved to miss a deer. The truck slowed down, but rolled before it could come to a complete stop. A large vacuum truck attended the scene and cleaned up the spilled coal. Results: Deer 1; Coal truck 0.
There were six occurrences this past week where liquor was seized from youth. Some was seized at the skate park, some from vehicles and some from backpacks. All of the seized liquor was destroyed and various tickets were issued.
There has been a substantial increase in the amount of service & welding trucks running around town. In fact at 7 AM or 7 PM the main roads look like the Indy 500. Complaint, after complaint has been received over the past couple of months of speeding trucks on the highways and byways around Tumbler. Not only is speed an issue, but there is a general disregard for the law as it relates to parking, lane changing, failing to stop at stop signs and the like. If you are a safety representative that has a fleet of vehicles operating in town, please give me a call at (250) 242-5252. I would like to work with you and see how we can deal with this issue in a cooperative manner. Otherwise, well use the hammer (which, by the way, works really well.)
Drugs have come to town in a big way. With good jobs and lots of pay, drugs are never far behind. Most of the files are of the ?If youve got the money Honey, Ive got the time? variety. When the money is gone, people arent nearly as funny or entertaining as they once were. People have called us, looking for their vehicles that theyve loaned to their drug friends. Although it seemed like a good idea at the time, when reality kicks in, it aint so great. People have also reported that they are receiving harassing phone calls from ?drug friends? regarding drug debts and a whole host of related issues. Case law is very clear, if you loan out your vehicle and it doesn t get returned, its not stolen. If you want it back, go look for it, or sue the person. The police arent debt collectors, and will not be involved in such situations.
A gal driving a pickup rolled her vehicle on the Wolverine Forest Service road. She had slept in, missed the bus and was late for work. Although she received only minor injuries, her vehicle received a ton of damage. Alcohol was a factor in the accident and the female subsequently lost her license for 24 hours.
An intoxicated male started several fights (and lost each one) in a bar and was asked several times by the staff to leave. The male was gone when the police arrived, however a short time later the male was located in the emergency room seeking medical attention. The male was taken home by his supervisor. This type of call always begs the question, ?Whats the difference between this type of male and a computer?? Answer, ?You only have to punch the information into a computer once.?
Thats all I have room for this week folks. Well talk again next week the good Lord willing. Keep it between the ditches