Tumbler Ridge Police Blotter

Hello neighbor and welcome back to the Blotter, and what a week its been here in the Ridge. Knock, Knock. Who?s there? I?m a pile up. I?m a pile apooh? Ha ha ha (Get it? A pile of poo? Huh? Sometimes I kill myself.)

OK, try this one…A guy walks into the doctor?s office and the doctor says, ?The test results are in and I?m sorry to tell you that you have cancer and only 6 months to live!? The Guy says, ?Can I get a second opinion?? The doctor says, ?You?re ugly too!!? (Get it?)

OK, one last one. A Newfie who just moved to Tumbler Ridge wakes up one night and finds his house on fire. He gets on the phone to the fire department to report the matter and the fireman asks, ?How do we get there?? The Newfie says, ?Don?t you still drive those big red trucks??

OK, one more, just because you asked. So there?s this good looking Mountie on highway patrol. (Hint, hint. Remind you of anyone? Oh, very funny you bunch of juveniles.) Anyway, he pulls over this car with Grandpa driving and Grandma, who?s hard of hearing, is sitting in the passenger seat. The strong, handsome Mountie says, ?Sir, you were speeding, can I please see your driver?s license?? Grandma asks, ?What did he say?? Grandpa replies, ?It?s OK dear, he just wants to see my license.? Grandpa hands his license over to the Mountie. The Mountie looks at the license and says, ?I see you?re from Dawson Creek. In fact my first girlfriend was from Dawson, and let me tell you, she was the worst cook that I ever had the misfortune of meeting.? ?What?d he say?? Asked Grandma again. Grandpa replies, ?He says he thinks he knows you.? Nuk, nuk, nuk.

Halloween is coming very quickly. The RCMP are once again hosting a community bonfire and wiener roast. This year the fires will be in the Res Can parking lot (the parking lot beside the caboose.) The event will start at 7 PM and will end at 9 PM. There will be free hotdogs, chips, pop, marshmallows, hot chocolate and coffee. Come on down and take a look at the costumes, enjoy a cuppa coffee and talk to a neighbor.

The last ?newsie? edition of the Blotter was two weeks ago, as such, a ton of stuff has happened so I?ll attempt to hit the high spots only.

The police were called to a group of males fighting at bar closing. The males were separated and sent on their way (strike one). All departed except for one (strike two). He was yipping at the police, at passers by and anyone within earshot (strike three). He was arrested and brought back to cells where he threatened to shoot the officers. In this day and age, drunken threats are taken seriously. The male?s residence was searched and several firearms were seized. The male was charged with various criminal and firearms offenses.

Chetwynd Highway Patrol was in town the other day, and seized half a kilo of pure cocaine from a Tumbler Ridge resident. The drugs were still in brick format, and were being transported into town for distribution. Significant charges have been laid, and the person will be appearing in court shortly.

Speaking of drugs, the police attended a dispute at a local coffee shop between two roommates. One irate roommate threatened to slit the other?s throat. The first roommate accused the other of stealing her crack cocaine. So much for the argument that drugs are ?recreational? and ?harmless.?

A crew working at kilometer 48 on the Wolverine Forest Service Road was taking down copper wire from the old rail line. Someone(s) stole 3000-4000 pounds of the wire, valued over $10,000. Now would be a good time to call Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-TIPS.

Speaking of theft, Telus reports that on two occasions over the past month, fuel has been stolen from their radio site on Thunder Mountain. Over 600 liters of fuel were stolen each time.

Several moose have been hit on the highways in the past two weeks. Most have been injured and were required to be dispatched. Here is my concern. If you hit a moose or any other animal, please, please make every effort to get the animal off of the traveled portion of the road. Do not leave, until the animal has been disposed of properly. Running over a dead animal on the road, or swerving to miss it is just as dangerous as hitting a live animal. Thanks for the help.

A burnt out vehicle was located on the Hourglass Road. The vehicle was a 2004 Chevrolet, and was stolen out of Grande Prairie. There is good news; the total loss was only about twenty bucks because, after all, it was a Chevy.

There have been several additional reports of thefts and vandalism that have been occurring along outlaying forest service roads. Any vehicle that happens to break down on these roads is usually ransacked, vandalized and the contents are stolen. Guess who?s doing this? I know it?s not kids, it?s people who work in the bush. Radios, chains, ratchet boomers, flagging signs and the like have all disappeared.

We?ll talk again next week the Good Lord willing.

Keep it between the ditches.

Cpl. Kurt Peats