(up to March 20, 2005): Hello neighbor and welcome back to the Blotter, and what a week it?s been here in the Ridge. In like a lamb, out like a lion. There is a lot of truth in that saying. Whenever there is a lot of snow I always get to thinking….I can design a better winter tire than the boys at the major tire manufacturing places. But I have a character flaw that prevents me from doing this, I?m a cheapskate. In fact I?m so cheap that it usually costs me money. But I have a sure-fire idea that has got to work. You see, my grandfather wore dentures, but they never fit. He used to keep them in his pocket, put them in to eat and then take them out again. When he got bored, he would take them out and try and shave off the parts that rubbed his gums. This usually caused them to rub another place, and the cycle continued on for years. In fact when he passed away, even the undertaker had a tough time to make them fit. So I figger that there must be a lot of people here in Tumbler that are in the same boat. All with dentures that don?t fit, and with a bunch of denturists that say they do fit. So here?s the plan…bring me your dentures and I?ll glue them on to the tires on the police car. I?m looking for the top dentures, the ones with the buck teeth. That way they?ll really be able to bite into the snow. And when I get enough to outfit a set of tires, I?ll send pictures to the federal government. They give us all sorts of environmental awards for reducing, reusing and recycling. And then people from Chetwynd will move here because they never get awards. And the prices of our houses will go way, way up and we will live like kings. Anyway, that?s how i got it figgered, but somehow I get this sinking feeling that this is going to cost me a lot more than just dollars.

I think I just spent too much time telling stories, now let?s get to work. The local detachment has received just about 100 calls since the last time I spoke to you, so I?ll just cover a few of them.

Did you know that there?s a Papa wolf, and Momma wolf and a Baby wolf in town? In fact two weeks ago one of the wolves killed a pet dog while the owner was taking it out for a walk. The little dog walked up to Mr. Wolf to say ?Hi, do you want to be my friend?? It was then that Mr. Wolf decided he liked his privacy and bit the dog and killed it. If you are going out for a walk, be sure you know where your dog is, and better yet, keep it on a leash.

Here is a safety concern that you need to know about. You know that open camp on Highway 52N about 40 kilometers from town? As spring approaches, the campsite is turning into a mud pit and the trucks are tracking this mud onto the road. Recently there has been a considerable amount of mud on the road surface that gets very slick during the day. To compound this problem, the mud under the top layer is still frozen and has a tendency to throw the vehicle around as you drive over it. We are in the process of getting a system in place to ensure that this stretch of the Highway is kept clean. Just be careful for the next week or two.

Because I don?t have time or space for a full accounting, the following is a very abbreviated form of a few files that kept us busy. A person lost their bank card and other ID, card cancelled, file closed. Two missing children who had been missing for a couple of hours were found. Several traffic complaints received, some drivers charged, others were given a warning. Several calls of harassing telephone calls, still looking into same. Report of guns shots, nothing found, no damage to buildings. Report of damage to vehicles and theft of automotive parts. Report of counterfeit five dollar bill, suspect apprehended and further action to be taken. Bunch of accidents and vehicles in the ditch. Tons more 9-1-1 calls that were dialed by mistake. Some liquor that was kept ?unlawfully? was seized. Several charges were laid as a result of an individual breaching his probation. Domestic assault, charges laid.

A few cases of a small amount of marihuana being seized by the police. Theft of fire extinguishers. Dog complaints and the like. Attendance made to several commercial and residential alarms, all false. Deer 0, car 1. Claude Galabois school sprayed painted. Meetings, meetings, meetings. Motor vehicle accident, possible impaired, blood samples taken and sent in for analysis. Lots more, but I?ve got places to go, things to do and people to see.

Good News!! Tumbler Ridge was just approved for an additional RCMP officer. When the new officer gets here in July or so, that will make a total of five. For all you criminals out there, be afraid, very afraid. Cause whatcha gonna do when we come for you…

To those who came to the town hall meeting last week, a big thank you. Initially the meeting was planned for an hour, and by the time we hit an hour and a half, we were just starting to get to the good stuff. We?ll hold another one soon, likely in September or so. With the feedback I received, there will be some slight changes. For those of you who have a bladder the size of a tea cup, we will take a break before you do. There will also be a much longer question and answer time. There will be more time spent in explaining the programs that are being offered by the detachment and I hope to invite a guest (such as a judge) to discuss the justice system and answer some very good question that were poised to me.

We?ll talk again next week, the good Lord willing.

Keep It Between The Ditches, Cpl. Kurt Peats