Hello neighbor and welcome back to the Blotter, and what a week its been here in the Ridge. Did you ever go to the Doctor and then leave the appointment wondering what the Doctor had said? Doctors use some big words and chances are real good that you don?t have the faintest clue what was said. Sometimes embarrassment or pride kicks in, and clarification isn?t sought. A friend of mine sent an e-mail with medical definitions, so the next time you go to the doctor, take these with you so that you can ask intelligent questions. When the Doctor says something medical, just refer to the following chart…


Artery: The study of paintings.

Bacteria: Back door to Cafeteria.

Barium: What doctors do when patients die.

Benign: What you be, after you be eight.

Catscan: Searching for kitty.

Cauterize: Made eye contact with her.

Coma: A punctuation mark.

Dilate: To live long

Fester: Quicker than someone else.

Fibula: A small lie.

Labour Pain: Getting hurt at work.

Morbid: A higher offer.

Outpatient: A person who has fainted.

Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates.

Node: I knew it.

Pelvis: Second cousin to Elvis.

Tumour: One plus one more.

Urine: Opposite of you?re out.

There you have it, the first year of medical school right in your pocket. OK, OK, let?s get to work and see what happened in this fair haven of rest over the past week.

A male was drinking a beer and walking along Southgate when he decided to smash the bottle on the road. Behind the male at the time was an officer on patrol. As the officer approached the male, the male displayed strong signs of inebriation and was subsequently arrested for being drunk in a public place. The male spent the night in the crowbar hotel, and upon release in the morning was given a ticket for his actions.

A local couple had their vehicle scratched with key. Not only that, they had garbage dumped on their car and syrup poured down the air vents. And sadly, this is not the first time that it has happened to them. If anyone knows who is responsible for this damage, please call the Tumbler Ridge RCMP at (250)242-5252 or Crime Stoppers. There will be money available for information leading the arrest of those involved.

A complaint was received regarding the abuse and misuse of the Lost Haven Cabin. If you are new to the area, this cabin is located on a hiking trail near the golf course.

The trail is off limits to ATVs and is for hiking only. It appears as though some individuals are using the cabin as a party spot. The area is strewn about with litter, and users of this cabin never know when a group of partiers will arrive and disrupt the peace and quiet. Stepped up patrols will be made in the area, and if anyone is caught with a quad, or littering or damaging the area in any way (cabin or forest), then charges will be laid. This cabin is a beautiful place and was built for all to enjoy.

A work vehicle was reported stolen by an employee who had just been fired. The vehicle is believed to be in the Chetwynd area, and is described as a 1999 Red Ford pickup bearing British Columbia license plate 8565KB. The truck also has a ?Tidy Tank? full of diesel fuel. The suspect who stole the truck has a record of two previous vehicle thefts. If anyone spots the truck, please call the Tumbler Ridge detachment, or any detachment of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

The local dog pound was broken into over the past week and ?Kokanee? was freed from prison. The suspects cut the chainlink fence and ?rescued? the dog. This investigation is ongoing and hopefully will end in charges against the person or persons who are responsible for the damage done to District property.

Another very intoxicated male was located ?wailing? as he was walking down the street. Upon investigation, the ?wailing? kinda sorta sounded like Willie Nelson. Either way, it wasn?t pleasing to the ear, and the male was arrested for being extremely drunk in a public place. As the male was in custody, he treated the guards to several rousing renditions of ?Help Me Rhonda, Help, Help me Rhonda,? and the ever-popular ?Skip To The Loo my Darlin?.?

On Thursday October 19, the RCMP hosted a Community Meeting that was attended by well over 100 people. Many concerns were expressed about a variety of issues, and next week, I?ll submit a report on what exactly those concerns were, and how they might be addressed.

We?ll Talk again next week the Good Lord willing.

Keep it between the Ditches.

Cpl. Kurt Peats