Tumbler Ridge Police Blotter

(up to April 15, 2007)

Hello neighbour and welcome back to the blotter, and what a week it?s been here in the Ridge. The boss is away this week. OK not really, but he is too ?busy? to write the blotter this week so you have to put up with me. It has been a busy weekend, and it is now the wee hours of the morning and the big man and I have not had much sleep. As a result, this may or may not be funny and informative. If it is one or the other then we will be lucky, if it happens to be both then we are all blessed and there will be snow in the mountains all year round for sledding, but sun tanning temperatures in town.

What does the boss do anyhow? Don?t get me wrong, he certainly is a busy man and puts in a lot of time, but just what does he do? When his office door is closed is he running a side business? Is he writing the next great love story of the century, where he rescues his sweet heart while riding in on a purple unicorn? Or is he an interior decorator consultant. Maybe that?s what his meetings are about out of town. He has to meet clients face to face sometime, even with the convience of the internet. Or maybe he will soon be coming out with his summer line of PEATS wear. Would you people wear clothes designed by the Cpl? I probably would, he claims I have horrible fashion sense.

Anyhow, I want to update you on the new guy and his travels. He will soon be gone. He is taking a post in Mars. It is the first of its kind and there was a huge process in selecting the right member. Even though he insisted that he wanted to finish his career in Tumbler Ridge as it was a paradise to him. Working was more like play than work for him in Tumbler Ridge. His comittment to the force and his desire to ?maintain the right,? even on another planet, eventually surpassed his love for TR. Besides the new residents on Mars deserve the best and they sure are getting it. So next time you see the new guy, bid him farewell. Soon you may not see him again. The force only pays for a flight back to his home planet every three years and most of his time back on earth will be spent in a decontamination chamber due to the differences in the microbes and germs in the different atmospheres. Thank him for the sacrifice he is making.

OK I expect you want to know what happened in your fair haven this week, which the new guy will miss so much. Firstly, what do you suppose would happen if you had not one, not two, not three, but four warrants for your arrest and the police come in contact with you. You may just get arrested, and not get released for a long time.

On a similar, but different note, if you beat your spouse, even just a little bit, you will be arrested and have a meeting with a judge. The judge will most likely tell you, you are a bad boy or girl. Life is too short, to be beating on the people we love. If you need help, get it. It is available. If you are the offender, stop, kiss and make up, and learn from your mistakes.

Here?s another hypothetical. If you get arrested, serve time, eventually get out and get home, how long do you think it would be before you were arrested again for breaching your conditions? One day maybe.

What happens when you mix drinking and driving and a bad corner? Crash!

Here is some good news. A truck was stolen from Tumbler Ridge and recovered in less than a week.

Some advice. If the police officer tells you to walk away, do so. If the police officer tells you to walk away, walk away. If the police officer tells you to walk away or you will be arrested, it is almost too late, this is your last chance. If the police officer tells you to walk away or you will be arrested, this time it is too late and you are spending the night on a concrete bed. Comfy!

Lastly, if someone is missing a tank for a cleaning apparatus come see us, we have recovered it.

Keep the shiny side up and the rubber side down.

?one of the Maritimers?