Tumbler Ridge Police Blotter

Hello neighbor, and welcome back to the Blotter and what a week it?s been here in the Ridge. There?s this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. ?Yoo-Hoo!? She shouts, ?How can I get to the other side?? The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, ?You ARE on the other side.? (Laugh here.)

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the Mountie cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, ?PULL OVER!!!? ?NO!? the blonde yelled back, ?IT?S A SCARF!? (Groan).

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex, and one was named Timex. Her friend said, ?whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?? ?HELLLOOOOOO……,? answered the blonde. ?They?re watch dogs!? (Nuk, Nuk, Nuk.)

Enough already, let?s get the work and see what happened in this fair hamlet. On Thursday, June 7, 2007 Provincial Court was held here in Tumbler Ridge. A record of proceedings will be published, apart from the Blotter. If you have ever wondered why Justice takes a long time, just read the court report.

Over the past weekend there has been a considerable number of files dealing with alcohol, alcohol and cars, alcohol and pedestrians, and alcohol and noise complaints. I?m beginning to think there is a pattern here, but I can?t quite put my finger on it. Let?s go into little bit of detail and see what happened.

Two people were charged with impaired driving, and an additional two people had their license suspended for 24 hours. At the present time, there is no tow truck service in town. As a result, when vehicles are towed they are towed to Chetwynd. It is the driver?s responsibility to pay for the tow, and to make arrangements to recover the vehicle. Is this a pain? Not for the police. In order for you not to be inconvenienced, I?m sure you know what the answer is. Get your friend to drive.

This next file falls under the category of ?smart criminals.? In the wee hours of the morning, a male was located urinating on a dumpster in the downtown core. The good policeman just happened to be driving by, and sure enough the guy was arrested. When the guy was searched, a baggie of marijuana was located in his pocket. Don?t you just hate it when that happens? Actually, I quite enjoy it. No, no, no, what I meant to say was that it really hurts me when people make poor decisions and I often wonder what I can do to help them out. Yeah, that?s it. That?s what I meant to say.

Shall we talk about quads and dirt bikes again? Let?s talk about ?designated trails? for a moment. The purpose of a designated quad trail it is to: (a) see how fast you can go, (b) see how much noise you can make,(c) see how much dust and dirt you can kick up, or (d) provide you with a safe and legal way for you to access trails in the backcountry? If you?ve answered a, b or c chances are, you live in Tumbler. So here?s a message that I would like to send out to all of the users of the designated ATV trails. When you?re on the trails, you must yield the right of way to pedestrians, horses, cyclists and the like. The speed on the designated trails should not be faster than a brisk walking speed. If you want to see how fast your quad can go, just wait till you get in the bush and just give it. Please don?t do this in town or near the trails. This past week, three repeat offenders were each given a ticket for $596 for no insurance. These offenders decided to travel on the roadways, and then race up and down the quad Trails. I have spoken with the officers here in the detachment, and anyone caught in violation of any provincial statute will be charged. My goal is to ensure that the designated trails remain open, but are used in a responsible manner. It is now up to you, to ensure all users of the trail will follow some simple rules and to ride with respect for others.

I?m about a month and a half late on this next one. Every year in April or May, I am required to conduct a ?Client Satisfaction Survey.? The purpose of the survey is to see how the RCMP is doing in meeting the needs of the community. There is a difference between needs and wants, and please keep that in mind when you respond. I?m specifically looking for comments in the following areas: (1) How are the police doing in regards to enforcement? Is there too much enforcement, not enough enforcement, or just the right amount of enforcement. (2) How is the local detachment doing in regards to communication? I?m specifically looking for comments in relation to the Blotter. Because the Blotter is published in several different newspapers, would you please forward your comments to the editor via an e-mail or in the form of a ?letter to the editor?? These in turn, will be forwarded directly to me. If you wish to contact me directly, you?re welcome to send a letter to Corporal Kurt Peats at P.O. Box 710, Tumbler Ridge, B.C. V0C 2W0. (3) And finally, what concerns do you have that you would like to see the RCMP address in the upcoming year? Please keep your comments limited to law, and avoid any concerns regarding love or money. I?d hate for you to end up broke and lonesome.

That?s about it for this week folks. I?ll be down in the lower mainland for the next week trying to requalify in several different disciplines including a wide assortment of firearms, pepper spray, defenseive baton, tactical thinking, Taser, physical fitness, receiving an annual medical and a host of other fun and games. I get to experience first-hand the sting of pepper spray, the shock of the Taser, and the whack of a night stick. Instructors always need ?test? subjects to demonstrate the right way and the wrong way to perform certain skills. Guess who they pick? The smart aleck who can?t keep comments to themselves. I just hope I get laryngitis before I leave.

We?ll talk again next week, the good Lord willing.

Keep it between the ditches.

Corporal Kurt Peats.